This picture was taken this past weekend when Leo and I went for a long walk at The Arb here in Ann Arbor. Don’t let this picture fool you. We fought the entire time. A lot of emotions bursting out of both of us. Uncomfortable changes that are happening in our life, our marriage, and we just did not know how to communicate them to each other. L was fearful of what was to come of his body and mind with this disease. I was fearful of what our life would look like together. Are we strong enough to fight this? It should have been a time of consoling each other, but we were just yelling, feeling unheard by the other person.
It should have been a time of me consoling my husband.
This difficult walk- both literally and metaphorically speaking- was a gentle reminder that we are a team. He is on my side. I am on his side. Just because we are feeling it differently about the circumstance or respond to it differently doesn’t mean we are alone. And you take turns.
Some days, there is no room for both voices. One gives in to the other out of love.
You are probably wondering about the picture. Throughout our walk, Leo kept mentioning how beautiful this trail was (we tried out a new trail, I think by accident as we were not paying attention!). It took me to the very end of our walk to look back and notice how wonderful, glorious it was.